The end of August is here which means the start of a new school year. Normally, I get pretty excited for the school year to begin, but to be honest, the approach of this school year has been a struggle. Summer has just been too short!!! I don't know why, but summer went by way too fast this year. Maybe it's because it rained for almost the whole month of June so it seemed to get off to a late start. Maybe it's because we'll have a full week and a half of school before Labor Day this year. Maybe it's because I've always worked in the summer, but I got to spend this summer staying at home with Collin. After all, time off always seems to go by faster than time spent working. To make it all even better, Collin has been sick for the first few days that he had to be in the nursery. So, whatever the reason, when people ask me if I'm ready to start the school year, the answer is a big fat NO.
I have a lot of reasons for not being ready. The biggest is that I don't want to be away from my sweet baby for that much time. I've also really started to enjoy staying home and having the time to be more organized at home. I've enjoyed being able to go to lunch with friends or going to hang out at Colleen's for the day. I've enjoyed being able to be involved with Matt's business and having him come home for lunch sometimes or meeting him for lunch on the job. I've enjoyed sleeping in a little and not wearing skirts and hose every day. This funk I've been in is not typical for me. I am usually a pretty upbeat person who looks at the glass half-full, and I've been frustrated with myself for getting so down about the whole thing.
As I was feeling increasingly despondent about the school year, I was reminded of Phil. 4:11, "For I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content", and this has been the verse that I keep coming back to. It's such an encouragement to me to read that Paul, whose circumstances were far worse than what I complain about, could be content. I am also so encouraged whenever I read the word learned there. Even to an amazing man of God like Paul, being content was something of a process. Contentment isn't something that just comes naturally to "good" Christians. Being a Christian does not instantly guarantee us a life full of warm fuzzy feelings even if we are "doing all the right things". Being content is not something that I can learn or work at all by myself. I can't just "look at all the people that are worse off" or "focus on happy things" to be truly content. My contentment that I'm learning to have comes from changing my focus to God - getting to know Him better and resting in the knowledge that it's part of His plan to have me right where I am. I don't know what His plan is for me for this year, but it's His perfect plan so it has to be good. With that knowledge, I can, like Paul, learn to be content in whatever state I am.
As my attitude has changed, I've been able to see some really positive thngs about this school year and I thought I'd list some of those here since I started out listing a bunch of negative things.
1. I had the summer off! I got so stuck on not wanting to go back to school, that I forgot that most of the world has to work twelve months a year instead of nine.
2. I have a job! When I was grumbling during Sunday School this week about having to go back on Monday, a lady in the class who has been out of work for sometime changed my perspective by pointing out, "At least you have a job to go to. So many people are out of a job that you need to count your blessings every day that you wake up with a job to go to that day." Point taken.
3. Collin is at the school with me and I get to go see him during the day! Lots of people have to leave their kids in the early morning hours and don't pick them up again until six or later at night. I leave Collin at 8, pick him up at 3:45, and get to see him a couple of times in between.
4. Collin is in good hands during the day! Collin is watched in the nursery at our church by a fabulous Christian lady who I know and trust and who loves Collin almost as much as she loves her own kids.
5. I get to go to a job I love! I love getting to stretch my brain with word problems and Calculus, and I love the interaction I have with my students.
This list could go on and on, but I've already shown my babblative nature and dragged this entry on pretty long so I'll leave it at that.
School starts on Thursday! If you think about it, please pray for our school year.
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